It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
There's a hole in our hallway wall. Don't hate me. I'll fix it. It's only about the size of a beach ball. I promise to never scale walls in our apartment ever again. Don't hate me. I love you.
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
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