The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
At the doctor. They're doing a flu test now. He was like "where do you think you got this?" I said "bachelor party. Strippers." he goes "okaaaay I'll put 'other'."
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
Turns out the bartender I fucked is the bar owner. WHY THE FUCK DO I PAY FOR HALF MY DRINKS? IS SEX NOT TIP ENOUGH?
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
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