i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
The cabbie told me fat girls shouldn't wear tight clothes, and that he feels bad for the guys that have to be underneath them, especially because their positions are "very limited" and proceeded to ask me if I had a trash can and if I could throw something away for him. Don't worry though, he promised it wasn't anything "bad". He then handed me a tied up grocery bag with a bunch of wadded up Kleenex that weighed about 3 pounds. To answer your question, yes I made it home. Fml
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
I want to be your penis for a week.
I'm chatting on my fake OkCupid account and watching Lion Witch & Wardrobe on my second screen. Hail me, King of the Creepers
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
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