Dude, just walked by a homeless guy pissing on the sidewalk while he was screaming at his wang. God, I love this city.
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
He started telling people I was Stephen Hawking's son. When that didnt fly he switched to Tony Romo's cousin
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
Randomize
