I want to stick my p in your. b.
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
TRUE LIFE: my roommate is growing a bush.
better yet, TRUE LIFE: my roommates boyfriend begged her to grow a bush.
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
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