you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
Randomize
