using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
My mom just called hysterical. She and her sister found my dead grandma's vibrator.
The apple don't fall far from that tree.
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
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