So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
Randomize
