Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
Can I color on your dick again?
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
Randomize