Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
Trying to figure out the logistics of putting my laptop speakers on this plate with the last slice of pizza. Too drunk to move the plate. Not an option.
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
Randomize
