Your tits are I can't wait for
So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
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