I like to think it a success when the cops are called
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
Right now I'm standing in front of my fridge, drinking wine out of the bottle and eating cold steak with my hands. I am THE BEST at being single.
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
Randomize
