I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
I will have you know I turned Latino David Arquette down for sex because he's married. Total. Moral. Victory.
Flo's in town, ain't she.
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
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