Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
Come see our sink grown plant.
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
Randomize
