I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
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