oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
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