Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
Randomize
