You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
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