I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
Randomize
