is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
Lucky for you, I found your phone.....Not so lucky for you, it was in the bottom of your vomit-filled trashcan.
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
Everyone I slept with in 2016 is getting a Christmas card from me. Because I'm an adult.
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
Randomize
