no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
I ate so much cake that I can't even enjoy a blowjob
That's the most first world problem I've ever heard in my life.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
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