it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
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