You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
Randomize