allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
That awkward moment when you are on your way to ICU and the only sympathy gift you can think of is beer and whiskey
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
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