That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize
