Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
The ass gains better be worth it
Randomize
