her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
high people should be assigned attendants
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
I told my mom that I was just gonna go check the mail. It's been 19 hours, and I woke up in a hot tub covered in chocolate, with a text from her sayin "have fun sweetie"
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize
