1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
time to smoke my breakfast
I was arrested last night for attempting to flee and elude. I wasn't really trying to run from the police. I was drunk and lost in the woods. I thought it was pretty obvious when I was waving at them from my puddle of puke that I wasn't really hiding.
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I just had sex on a roof
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
I think my moral compass just broke
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
Randomize
