it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
True college students do jello shots in the library
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
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