dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
In Vegas, have spent the last 48 hours wearing a viking helmet and fanny pack. I consider this to be a career high since drinking is my career
pop tarts are not kleenex
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
There was just a girl standing next to me on the train, wasted, wearing only one shoe. I so wanted to pat her on the shoulder and say "oh honey, we've all been there"
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
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