Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
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