Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
I lost my vibrator temporarily and for some unknown reason my first thought was that you might have stolen it. But then I realized you would never do that because you know it keeps me from killing people. But I am overtired and lacking in faith.
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
I want a musical about memes.
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
Randomize
