I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Randomize
