I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
The only birthday messages I got from men were from my 8th grade boyfriend and the bouncer at our bar. I think I'm doing something wrong in life.
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
did you just send me my own nude
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
Terrible idea I love it
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
Randomize
