You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
Randomize
