he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Randomize
