As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
FYI, if you pee in my bed (or even let R___ and E___ sleep in it), I will fart loudly during your wedding vows. Trust.
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
Randomize
