sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
So it turns out my dad calls his penis "John" which means he either named me after his penis or his penis after me
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
Randomize