i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
Randomize
