so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
Randomize
