I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
no you cant smoke seaweed
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
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