I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
Also a shrinking boner emoji would be helpful
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
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