it wasn't lemon gatorade
Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
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