How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
Randomize
