She's like the female version of the Momento guy. She keeps forgetting that I'm an asshole after we have sex.
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
Randomize
