id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
i think we sleep fucked last night...
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