Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
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