We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
Wait. Did you let me snort wine last night cause I wanted to smell jesus's blood?
Yes. I have pictures. Your soul is mine.
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
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