The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
Randomize
