We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
Please tell me you werent the one who replaced every beer bottle in my fridge with a picture of a baby kitten.
... and if i was..
Fuck. You.
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
Randomize
