I must be too annoying 4 u.
That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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