"it" just moved
she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
Randomize
