we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
When I came home you were watching infomercials, eating croutons out of the box and salsa from a funnel. Well done.
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
Randomize
