Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
farters have to be the big spoon...
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
Randomize