her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
Randomize
