never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
Randomize
