If I had a sex resume I'd get tons of jobs.
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
Just took an adderall with a shot of tequila while doing my makeup in the parking lot at work before I go in. I'm also late. They're so lucky to have me.
I am drunk. Riding an elevator. You can smell the beer. Doctor on with me just smiling at me... He agrees, fuck cancer.
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
Randomize