tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
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