i'm lost and i look like a hooker
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
The guy at the ER said it was the first time he's given stitches for a funneling accident. Then he seemed upset that I took pride in that...
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
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