Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
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