OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
Randomize
