did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
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