she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
Dude I got in an Uber this morning and he goes “I drove you last night”\n“You got your dick sucked in the back seat”
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
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