I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
there was a trapeze. enough said
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
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