Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
I'm in the line at Chipotle thinking: "What combo will best prepare my body for the open bar I'm going to subject it to tonight?"
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
Someone called asking about the gate code and I said "hashtag" for # instead of "pound." Ugh. I feel so dirty.
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
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