Don't make out with my wife yet
he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
I told her I'd rather set my hair on fire than sleep with her again. In retrospect, that was probably too harsh. My eye is still swollen shut.
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
Randomize