those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
I get so lonely sometimes I set my phone's alarm to go off every 5 minutes or so and imagine people are texting me.
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
He caught a cramp during sex and I was like "do you want me to get you a banana?" And he responded with "I'll give you a banana" and kept going. I'm marrying him.
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
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