for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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