does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
Randomize
