ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
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