i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
Is it weird that I only look up my ex on Twitter when I take a shit? May have conditioned myself to associate him with shit
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
Randomize
