You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
Just took my morning after pill in the library
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
is this the sara with the beer cane?
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
Randomize