So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
Randomize
