i don't like sucking hair
Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
Randomize
