Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
How does one acquire holy water?
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
Randomize
