Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
if only i could text you this smell
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
Randomize
