Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
Randomize
