We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize
