Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
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