in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
Randomize
