From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
no. you can't hotbox the world.
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
Dear drunk me, don't shave my balls til you're sober. My junk looks like a pomeranian with mange.
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
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